Many the Miles
by moonswirl
Summary: Gleekathon, day ninety: Finn drives to Sectionals, thinking about the people he has to deal with there.


_Started my daily ficlets to make the hiatus pass, then decided to keep going with a second cycle, and then a third and fourth cycle. Now here comes cycle 5!_

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**"Many the miles"  
Finn**

He could hardly believe it was his life, that this was happening to him. After he'd stormed out of Glee practice, he was so out of it, he didn't really go around with a plan in mind. His head was filled with so many thoughts, so many emotions… He couldn't pick them apart. So he just kept on walking, hoping for clarity to come back to him. Eventually, it had… he had his relapses from time to time, mostly when his mind would go to… them. He tried not to let his mind go there, but it was like reflex.

He had worked to keep his mind anywhere else but there, and once the others had left for Sectionals, he'd ended up going back to school. It really pained him not to be there, even though he had good reasons for taking a step back. He had really found a good thing for himself in Glee, and he hated that it had to be tainted like this.

He'd gone back to McKinley to pack up his football locker. That was what he'd told his mother, and for the most part he believed it too. But deep down, further than his conscious mind, he needed to be there, like he knew they'd need him.

When Mr. Schuester had come to him, he wasn't even all that surprised. Still, something held him back… he couldn't bring himself to go. As always, Mr. Schuester had worked his way past his barriers, opened up the way for him to accept going back into the fray.

He'd taken the walk from the gym to the library to know what song he'd get… that old Schuester magic once again. After his cathartic trip to the Cheerios' copy machine, he'd gotten into his car and started for Sectionals.

His mother had always said car rides were good for the mind, but he hadn't understood how much that was true. It worked to calm the emotions, of a crying baby or a tormented teen, and in situations such as these, it let one have the chance to think in peace. He really needed that, needed to prepare himself so that facing Puck and Quinn wouldn't tear him down all over again. The club needed him in one piece.

He thought about Quinn. When they had started dating, he thought she was just like any other cheerleader, and except for finding her pretty… he had very little to go on. It was only as they had continued to date that he had started to see there were other things about her… she was different when it was just the two of them. He didn't know that he fully understood her, and that became more evident in the months that would follow.

The pregnancy had brought them closer… now he knew this closeness was based on a lie.

He'd put everything on the line for the baby he'd believed was his daughter. Even if she wasn't going to be his, was going to be put up for adoption, he still loved her. As far as he knew, she was his own flesh and blood. He couldn't ignore that.

It wasn't just that Quinn had cheated on him… painful as it was, it seemed insignificant compared to the rest… it was who she'd cheated on him with. The words kept echoing and switching out on him… His girlfriend had slept with his best friend… his best friend had slept with his girlfriend…

He should have seen it. That was what he kept telling himself. Looking back now, he couldn't believe he hadn't seen it. The biggest hint that jumped at him was the day he'd found them after what he imagined was a food fight… He was sure he'd seen something in the way Quinn looked at him, in the way Puck touched her… But Quinn had given him an excuse, Puck had left… And he'd just forgotten all about it. He hadn't seen it, and Puck, and Quinn, they'd just… lied right to his face, for all this time. How long would they have kept it up if he hadn't been told? Would they have just kept lying?

Sometimes he wished they did… At least if they did, then he would still be happy, he could still believe in these people he cared so much for. Ignorance had its benefits. He just wanted that safety back.

Riding along, he knew he had to remember what he was doing this for. Glee was his family… You didn't always like everyone in your family, had problems with them… He didn't know anyone who didn't have these people in their lives in one way or another. It didn't mean he could or would condemn the whole lot for the collected acts of only some of them.

They had all worked for this. All twelve of them had been preparing for this day. They had come together, some of them unknown, some of them believed to be known… then they'd come together, they'd found their way.

But now someone had come and challenged their chance to show what they'd all worked on all this time. He couldn't let it happen.

When he arrived at the auditorium, he picked up the photocopies and reached for the door handle… he froze. His heart was racing, thinking about facing them… He had to do it. Even if it wasn't to help the club perform as they should, ultimately he'd have to get on with it, so he supposed there was no point in putting it off. So he got out of the car.

He wished Mr. Schuester was there. It was so much of what he'd done, from the start, that had led him to that moment.

THE END


End file.
